Life is funny, just as soon as you feel you have learnt to fly, the flying carpet you are balanced on is ripped out from under you and you find yourself falling.
I won’t say life held no stresses and worries, but they were the normal amount…truth be told many of them were due to my own old fear patterns.
Then before my husbands 40th birthday and after much pushing from me, he went for a check-up only to find he is in stage 5 kidney failure.
What!
Oh my God! What does that mean? What can we do? We have 3 young kids. Are we going to lose this man who is so important to us? Will I be a widow so young? How did I not know sooner? What kind of intuitive healer am I? How will we tell the kids?
STOP
BREATHE
Be here, don’t get on that runaway train…but.
NO BUT’s
This is how it went in my head, for the first week or so.
Tears springing into my eyes every few minutes, then hours, then days.
Every time we got our heads around a sharp shard of information the next one would slice its way into our once peaceful lives.
There I was the yoga teacher, healer, facilitator of spiritual groups, falling apart on a regular basis. While my husband, who was actually the sick one stood tall and mentally strong as ever.
I felt blessed to have this positive man beside me, but also like I was failing him and our children and myself as I struggled to get to grips with it all.
Even though I talked nicely to myself and tried to be gentle and realistic about what I was going through, the old critic was turning the knife.
Chris and I clung to each other. It was like we were on a frozen lake and dared not move or even breathe for fear of crashing through into the freezing truth.
Yet within that we spoke so openly and honestly.
He stopped drinking, eating certain foods and made so many instant changes. I by his side tried to support where I could, stocking healthy snacks, green juicing, and offering suggestions as to amazing healers.
He decided on my homeopath and friend, who up to this point had been main doctor to me and the kids, not him. And, our local TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) practitioner for herbs and acupuncture.
We got hold of a great Naturopath protocol and started researching on line like machines.
We saw that the western model of healing for CKD (chronic kidney disease) was not positive.
We never the less were too far into this disease to try and go it alone so armed with our support team of holistic healers, we set about finding the best nephrologist (did you know that was what a kidney specialist is called, we didn’t) we could.
This was a challenge my cleaver husband rose to yet again. We then had to leave the children…a challenge for me, and make our way across the country to try and get some answers to the many questions that had become part of our lives so suddenly
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