May 318 min read

I got divorced today

So, I got officially divorced this morning and I am gonna be honest this was on my list as a pattern I did not want to repeat.

Growing up as a child of divorce I was for many years opposed to getting married, so that I would never get divorced.

I always wanted children though, and we were 7 years into the relationship, one child in and a bun in the oven, when we finally tied the knot.

As I am being honest, I liked being married more than I expected I would. I had thought it wouldn’t feel any different, but it did.

When I finally worked up the courage to leave even though it was not what I wanted.

I knew I had fought tooth and nail, and it was time to surrender and trust that it would ultimately be best for my kids, myself and him…even though it did not feel like it.

I found myself broken and bleeding, 2022 will always be known to me as my crying year.

I could hardly breathe.

But like most mom’s, I put food on the table, got the kids to school, the laundry done.

Although I could barely see through the jungle of my own overwhelm, I found time to navigate each of their emotional landscapes to the best of my ability.

Even when they hated me, even when I couldn’t hug them and kiss away the pain.

Even when my heart was broken, I showed up for my kids, for myself, and even for him.

I could never have done this without my support system

(more on that in a minute).

So, I got officially divorced today.

What do people say?

Congratulations. Commiserations. I am sorry. Well done. Divorce Party.

Onward and upward. (all feel appropriate)

What do I feel?

In moments boo whoo, and in others Whoo Whoo.

I need chocolate and tissues and let’s celebrate my new beginning.

All of this is true simultaneously and it is a lot.

But I could never have done this without my support system.

And there have been many men in that support system, but the women and the women’s circles, well they saved my life.

Red Tent

I was pregnant with my daughter when I first read the book The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, it planted a seed, sparking off something that I could not yet see.

My focus was on the babe in my womb and my two little boys.

That was in 2010, it would take too long to weave all of the subtle magic and red threads together, so I will jump to the big ones.

By 2016 after seeing and dreaming that I could afford the Red Tent facilitator training course that I had wanted to do for at least 2 years, I decided to pay it off over 6 months (still a chunk of change for me) and trust that there was a reason it was knocking so hard on my heart.

Completing the 6-month course in Dec, I ran my first Red Tent gathering in Jan.

One thing about me and my Aries Moon is I do leap before I get the chance to think myself out of things (hey, I am a Gemini…I do a lot of that too).

Magic began to happen from my first circle. So many ripples I cannot begin to share them all.

I have seen so many people heal from a divorce in circle, others find the courage to leave a challenging marriage, others finding their voice and speaking their needs and their partner stepping up so they could save their marriage.

Some coming to terms with the lack of a partner, the death of a partner, getting married. It is far from all about our intimate relationships.

I have seen healing in and around children, work, career, family, health, and really any and every topic.

For each of us healing looked different.

But one thing is for sure, we all coped better because we shared our hearts, our challenges and our triumphs.

Your honest stories helped me, even when I did not know it, they were planted in me, like seeds to draw from when I would need them.

I can heal from a broken heart, I can have a new beginning, it is okay to get divorced.

I did not have a failed marriage any more than people who stay together unhappily have a successful one.

We all get to choose, there is no right or wrong.

People change and grow and not always together.

There are many reasons that relationships begin and end but none are wasted.

Each of us has so much to share of our own stories that can hold and support others. In sharing our stories, we release shame and pain, we share joys, fears, and hopes.

When we speak our dreams out loud and witness the dreams of another, we potentize them.

This is magic.

And so it begins…

And so it begins, again.

The same and different, because I am different.

In the last two and a half years I have gone through a dark night of the soul.

But this phoenix process was the composting of all the years of my life to this point and the planting in this beautiful rich soil of the me I am growing into.

Many of you will know what I am talking about, anyone who has experienced a big life altering shift. Many of us have had this happen more than once.

In this time, I am so proud to say I went there, I dropped in, I did it all in full colour.

I did not let myself numb and it was not comfortable, it was downright painful.

Some quotes that got me through;

Get comfortable with the uncomfortable

There is no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone

This is not happening to you it is happening for you

Now fast-forward to the day I find myself in a court room (for the first time), about to do the thing, that since I was six years old was my biggest fear and nightmare, and I felt fine.

My mind tried to think me back into the ‘safety zone’, but nope, in this moment I can feel how much work I have done.

You have to feel to heal, we say in this line of work.

And I have always placed high value on walking my talk, what a gift to have been able to really go into the cave and come out repatterned.

This embodied experience has been invaluable and it started to make me crave and know in my cells, that after a year of not holding Red Tent gatherings, it was time to begin again.

I crave it for myself, I yearn to give this practice to others.

I know, every woman knows, because our ancestors knew, because they gathered that this is how we heal the world.

We cannot take other people’s fingers off triggers directly.

But we can work to heal our own hearts, and raise our own vibration.

We can come together and let the prayers of our heart ripple out through the powerful portal we create together.

Ripple into our families, our communities and the world.

And so it begins again on the Gemini New Moon 5th of June in Grahamstown

(contact me for more info).

I have shared some very deep and personal feelings with you.

Because we tend not to, we have been so conditioned to not share these BIG FEELINGS.

It is not ‘correct’.

And then when you go through a huge life transition, you think you should get through it the way others have.

Only you have no idea what it looked like for them, because what they showed you was the ‘accepted’ version of their divorce, death of a child, move to another country etc.

When we share, we clear. Not only for ourselves, we give others permission to be in process with their things even when it is messy.

If you are still reading, thank you for your time. If you want to keep the conversation going feel free to share your story.

From my heart to yours let’s ripple.

Astrology Buzz

Gemini May 21st to Jun 20th

whoop whoop, Jupiter is in Gemini and this is great for the Gemini part of your chart.

If you don’t know what I am talking about and want to get some guidance get in touch for a session.

But in the meantime, prepared to get chatty, find yourself hungry for information and excited about all the little things.

Remember to stay grounded in whatever way/s work for you.

This is a yearlong transit so try to pace yourself (I am speaking to myself).

Cancer June 21st to Jul 22nd

I think we are going to need a little mothering and nurturing by the time the Sun steps into Cancer.

Gemini is fun but exhausting.

If the overwhelm is real by Cancer season you may try to feed your feeling so rather than getting all the comfort food, rom coms and tissues you can find…what does healthy nourishment look and feel like for you?

Lunations for June

Gemini New Moon is on the 6th of June.

Full Moon is in Capricorn on the 22nd opposing the Sun in Cancer.

Keep an eye on my YouTube channel for forecasts.

Please Subscribe and click the little bell to be notified when I do an update.

Thank you for likes, comments and shares

Big Astrology for 2024

Here is a quick reference list of the big things over the year.

If you know Eclipses or Mercury Retrogrades always impact you, take note of the date.

If you are in a Saturn Return, Chiron or Jupiter Return pay attention.

If you want to know what is most impactful for you right now or for 2024 and the list below is all Greek to you, no worries, just book a reading. My website is in USD, if you are South African contact me on 083 893 8543 or email me on cindy@rainbowwisdom.co.za

Eclipses will be in Aries and Libra:

March 25th Libra Lunar Eclipse

April 8th Aries Total Solar Eclipse

Sep 18th Pisces (hint of the new season to come) Lunar Eclipse

Oct 2nd Libra Solar Eclipse

Mercury Retrogrades are in Fire this year:

Apr 1st – Apr 25th in Aries

Aug 5th – Aug 28th mostly in Leo (starting in Virgo)

Nov 26th – Dec 15th in Sagittarius

Chiron conjunct the North Node in Aries, impacts most acutely in March. This is a big heal yourself to heal the world kind of energy. Take responsibility for your feeling, needs, actions and choices.

Jupiter conjunct Uranus in Taurus goes exact this year in April. It only happens every 14 years. It is a luckier and more dynamic combo…sudden discoveries and then making these new ways real.

Jupiter enters Gemini in May; this is really expansive and exciting for us Gemini’s. We only have Jupiter travel through our sign every 12 years and it can be a real glow up, up levelling or expanding time for us.

Saturn conjunct Neptune in Pisces by mid-year we are really experiencing the Reality vs Illusion. It sets the tone for a big theme around this all of 2025. Fake news is an example of this theme.

Mars Retrograde in Leo/Cancer Dec 2024 through to Feb 2025 these are usually fairly challenging, forcing us to look at the way we (individually and collectively) do things that does not work. Mars will have 3 oppositions with Pluto during this retrograde. Remember to look at their conversation now as they meet up because there will be a similar tone to the opposition point (perhaps a little more, hot headed at the opposition).

What am I up to?

Let me tell you where you can find me and what I am up to at the moment.

In the online space I am open for;

90 min Astrology Readings $50/R650

90 min Healing combo $50/R650

Card readings $25/R300

Starry Studies $25/R300

(learn astrology with the moon)

Check out my Udemy courses:

Moon Phases Made Simple

https://www.udemy.com/course/moon-phases-made-simple/?referralCode=B0600A991E0AAE404E12

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