I wanted to speak into some very powerful ‘work’ I have been doing personally, but I want to caveat that with a note that I always endeavour when sharing personally not to negatively impact anyone else in my story.
This is not always easy because other people in our lives sometimes show up as a villain or a victim to help us to grow into or, out of some part of ourselves.
As you may have guessed by now the ‘work’ I am referring to is the deep inner work.
I have had some beautiful and powerful opportunities lately not only to revisit some inner child healing but to reflect on how much my decades of self-development and doing my own ‘work’ have actually paid off.
I keep putting ‘work’ in inverted comas because it is still hard for us (myself included) to accept that shadow work, inner work, self-care, self-reflection and such are WORK.
Work in our society either earns us an income or contributes to the tangible mundane aspects of our lives, like housework, or paying the bills, maintenance or cooking the dinner.
We cannot see, touch or feel the ‘work work’, well, not at first anyway.
And when we begin to notice that the ‘work’ is working, others in our life may still not see it yet.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
And it will go largely unrecognized by others and even by us if we don’t pause to appreciate…which brings me back to my reflections.
It has been at least two decades since I first began doing inner child work.
There have been times when I have been very busy supporting and learning to listen to my inner child, and other times that she needs less of my time.
We have many internal parts, and they ebb and flow when we do the work. Healing is not linear so you just wait as see who needs your attention.
That is once you have established how to tell which part of you is kicking off, for said attention.
Having just celebrated my 45th birthday and coming through a huge phoenix process I have learned some powerful truths about inner child healing.
The inner child needs parents
The exact story of where your inner child needs support, may look very different to mine but the concept of needing to parent him or her will be the same.
Something I learned in the last few years is that since I was a parentified child, who started parenting at 6, is that parenting comes more naturally to me than play or being a child.
That part is not new, but because of all of that, I put a lot of emphasis on my inner child but I did not think I needed work on my inner parent parts.
They were if anything, over developed.
However, becoming a single parent brought into focus, where my parenting certainly did need work.
This first became apparent with the parenting of my actual children and then reflected why I could never get my wounded child to a better place, hard as I tried.
My parent parts were to some degree, parenting like a little girl.
Not only did my inner child get stuck in wounding at 6 years old, but my inner parents were also 6-year-olds!
The psyche is endlessly fascinating.
I have had to grow up and mature my inner parents A LOT in the last while, it has been awful and wonderful.
My boundaries have been a huge focus.
Self-care is a must, because the parent parts cannot give from an empty cup and the inner child needs parents she can trust and rely on.
I need to be those parents to that child.
What is your wounded child story?
Where are your inner parent parts needing to grow up?
The Same and Different
I had a bazaar and magical opportunity to reflect on how much I have grown and changed.
It has me so excited and even more ready and rearing to grow.
I will abbreviate the long list of magical happenings and jump to going to watch my son on rugby tour.
My eldest and youngest in tow, we went to watch my middle man play and stay at my old school. A place I lived and learned for 9 years.
I met up with a friend who I started school with and we walked the school up and down, sharing and comparing memories and catching up on more than 2 decades of our lives.
It felt surreal.
The school had a devastating fire in 2017 so there was a lot that was new, but also so much that was old. Walking where I walked, memories bubbling up, waves of all flavored emotions…
embodying the story of me.
How I got to be this 45-year-old version of me, who rides on the shoulders of all of the me’s I was before.
Then we went to stay with a friend in the town I grew up in, and drove past many of the houses and places of my childhood…even though the town is developed so far beyond how it looked, it also still looks the same in many places.
Real and unreal, disembodied and embodied, old and new, endings and beginnings.
Experiencing so many dualities in such quick succession simultaneously is something I don’t yet have language for.
I also went back to the place that my six-year-old self has been stuck for many years.
Funnily enough I did a meditation a few weeks prior
(having no idea I would be standing at the actual window)
where my parent part fetched the little me and told her to come and live with me now.
She no longer need to stand at this window, watching the moment her whole life changed.
And now, here I was in the physical place my wounded child had struggled to leave for 40 years.
Reaffirming to that little girl that all is well, she is safe.
The recurring nightmare that I remembered as soon as we parked, the smells of playing with my siblings, such joy, fear, loss, overwhelm, anxiety and love all striking like little lightning bolts.
I felt them all, but my inner parent parts, who are now all grown up, were able to hold my inner child safely as we the inner family embodies some DEEP healing.
I am still integrating this alchemical experience; on some levels it is almost too fresh and raw to write about.
And also, that is why I am.
Before my intellect tries to take over, before I convince myself it was a smaller thing than it was, before I try to make the cellular healing, I KNOW has occurred, a figment of my imagination, before I start back peddling, forward racing, numbing, busying myself or forgetting I choose to share and I hope you will too.
This ‘work’ that I do, that I teach and support others to do,
it works and it’s worth it.
You are worth it.
Astrology Buzz
Cancer June 21st to Jul 22nd
I hope you are taking some time to nourish your roots and replenish where needed. This is not a time wait around. Cancer is cardinal water, meaning you should be starting things that are supportive to your emotional health and wellness. Reflecting on what works and what doesn’t, learning what type of self-care works best for you and those you love.
Leo Jul 23rd to Aug 22nd
in keeping with the theme of Cancer season and self-care and nourishment, Leo is a good time to look good in order to feel good. Get your hair done, buy a new outfit, whatever works. If you want to get into character you need to look and act the part. You attract what you are, as the law of attraction tells us. So become what you want to attract.
Lunations for July
Cancer New Moon is on the 6th of July.
Full Moon is in Capricorn on the 21st opposing the Sun in Cancer.
This is the 2nd Capricorn Full Moon this year and it is at the anuretic (final) degree of the sign. This is made even more intense by the fact that this sensitive degree has had Pluto dancing with it for the last few years.
Keep an eye on my YouTube channel for forecasts.
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