Oct 2023
Is it just me or are relationship dynamics changing in a BIG way?
I know that going through a divorce from someone I loved with my whole heart for almost two decades definitely qualifies me for a personal deep dive on the topic, but even for those of us who are still happily coupled up, shift seems to be happening.
Not to mention that relationships are not only of the romantic variety, we have the classics;
Parent child
Siblings
Friends
Work relationships, and many, many more.
Disclaimer – here comes some astrology speak, leap forward if it’s all ancient Greek to you.
This month we have Venus, the planet of love and relationship ruling over not one, but two eclipses. Add to that she has just undergone a retrograde in the autonomous sign of Leo.
So, the theme of Me and Us is a big one.
There is no We without Me (even the words are the same with the first letter inverted).
I am not sure if this rings as true for men as it does for us women, but the societal conditioning for hundreds of years has been that to be acceptable and therefore accepted one needed to put the needs of others ahead of the needs of self.
So, for example a wife and mother needed to put the needs of husband, home and children first, not to mention her own job.
If there was room left over, the ‘right’ thing to do would be to check on the needs of parents, siblings, friends, cousins, pets, a friend of a friend.
And when all was said and done, let’s be honest she was too bloody exhausted to do anything but fall into bed, and start again tomorrow.
That is my life, I hear you say.
Well, yes, for many of us this is still and absolute truth, BUT…
We are starting to get really pissed off about it.
This uncomfortable ‘comfort zone’ has stopped our growth and is starting to get so uncomfortable that we, shock and horror are changing the paradigm.
One courageous and terrified person at a time.
It is utterly terrifying for most of us, myself included to break these cycles.
Patterns begun generations ago and the societal programming is so intrenched, subtle and not so subtle (especially when we start to notice it) that we can barely imagine another way.
This is a huge reason that it is so uncomfortable and so scary, we don’t know where this road leads, we don’t know how to pack for the journey, we don’t know if we will like it when we get there.
The thing is that we no longer fit in the old place, so we can’t stay, even if we are afraid and the climate where we are going does not suit us.
We have to try.
Becoming an I specialist
I think the path to the new relational paradigm starts with me.
Not me Cindy but me, myself and I (insert your own name).
How paradoxical it is to get all me, me, me, and become an I specialist when talking about a way of relating to others.
Sounds selfish, arrogant, narcistic, pompous, and many more ‘old paradigm’ descriptive words to boot.
My inner critic is shouting just as loud as yours.
But if I can quiet the inner critic, I can hear other parts of myself begin to whisper.
The inner critic has been so loud because s/he has been trying to protect us, to help us fit in and be accepted, by screaming at us and spiraling whenever our thoughts or actions were ‘unacceptable’.
Don’t be cruel to the critic.
Say, ‘hey, thanks for taking care of me for all these years. I know you are worried but just trust me, we are safe, I’ve got this. You can take a break.’
Then begin to listen to the other voices inside of you.
There are many parts of you that have been waiting for you to notice them.
As we begin to integrate the parts that we have neglected, denied or divorced we begin to come back to wholeness.
We also start to feel all sorts of things we have been avoiding, numbing or running from.
You have to feel to heal those neglected parts, go slow it won’t happen overnight. In fact, you will probably be busy with this job, the job of you, for your whole life.
Now the fun begins when you start to really know yourself.
The good the bad and the ugly, so to speak.
But of course, none of you is all good or all bad.
We are complex and multivalent beings.
During this life long process, you get you know you, to own who you are, to be responsible for your own wellbeing, and then to be accountable for your choices and actions.
I want to be in relationship with that me.
The one who does not make you guess what she is feeling or thinking.
She is heart led and compassionate but also has her own opinions and thoughts and is unafraid to air them.
She does not judge you for being different to her but will tell you what she, in her personal capacity will and will not accept.
She will also deeply want to know the same from you.
She is unapologetically comfortable with who she is but equally always striving to grow and improve.
She is confident enough to take responsibility for her side of the relational street, but unwilling to rescue you from your responsibilities, because she will expect you to be accountable for you.
She will have your back and guard your front, she will make you laugh and let you cry, she will be your cheerleader and tell you the hard truths.
And she will expect the same, she will trust you will hold her up when her demons scream too loudly.
To sit quietly beside her with tissues while she is broken open with grief, to be at the top of her list to call when something overwhelming happens, and when her dreams come true.
She is a person you want in your life.
I am her, I have quieted my demons and re-membered all of my parts.
Some days I am dismembered again, but that is okay.
The relationships I have cultivated support me to re-member again.
I will never stop learning and growing.
I will leave the world brighter than I found it, one loving relationship at a time.
That is my, me, me, me story…do you know yours?
Astrology Buzz
Libra Sep 24th to Oct 23rd
relationship is always a theme in Libra season, and this Venus ruled sign is still making adjustments to relationship based on what came up during the Venus retrograde in Leo.
I am willing to bet that many of us will be making changes in our relationships, romantically, but also familial, friendships and work wise too.
We have our first Libra south node eclipse since around 19 years ago on Oct 14th. So, some themes we may be looking at with the Libra lens are
Less More
Codependent Interdependent
Passive Aggressive Open and honest
Judgmental Judicial
Scorpio Oct 24th to Nov 22nd
as usual each archetype (sign) has a corrective quality for the one who went before.
In the case of Scorpio following Libra, it may be something like this.
You have gotten all indecisive, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, you don’t know which what to turn and it is all to easy to judge others but you cannot enact change yourself.
In comes Scorpio to save the day, the sting in his tail piercing the illusions of grandeur or any other illusions you may hold (especially in relationships).
Scorpio rules the rectum and takes no shit, in fact he is a master at elimination and getting shit done…even when it is not pretty Scorpio forces us to look at what is rotting and cut it away, cauterize the wound even though it hurts in the short term it heals in the long term.
Like I said, Scorpio for the win.
Lunations
Sep Full Moon was on the 29th in Aries
See my forecast here
And now come the two Venus ruled Eclipses I mentioned.
I won’t go into detail here, watch out for my YouTube video forecasts.
Suffice to say if you have strong Venus, Taurus or Libra in your chart, or if the last Venus retrograde was strong for you then I would pay particular attention.
Libra New Moon Eclipse is on the 14th of October.
Taurus Full Moon Eclipse is on the 28th of October
Watch out for my YouTube video forecasts.
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In Red Tent 2.0 this month, with New Moon in Libra we will be learning about our Rising sign, also known as the AC or Ascendant.
This is one of the Big 3 most NB parts of our natal chart, linking to our body and how we show up in the world.
As we explore and uncover more about ourselves (shadow and light) we become more authentic and accountable.
If you are eager to learn from these master teachers in the sky, please get in touch.
At the very affordable R200/$15 monthly membership.
Crystals Made Simple
Check out my Udemy course.
I first thought I would look for a good independent energy stone and then a relational energy stone to share about.
As I sat pondering which ones to talk about a creative inspiration struck though the much-loved Chrysocolla.
Perfect I thought, it is in fact one stone that covers both me and we.
This beautiful turquoise colored stone varies from more blue to green but whichever side it lands it is bright and vibrant due to it’s high copper content.
Seems fitting that in a month with two Venus ruled eclipses, we look at a crystal with high copper.
Venus rules over copper, this was not planned by me, but rather by my friend and muse Venus herself no doubt.
Why Chrysocolla for Me?
It is creative, and energizing but also good at calming, stabilizing and developing inner strength and resilience.
It is a stone you can use to support spiritual practices such as yoga and meditation.
And also inspire ideas, projects and artful pursuits.
Why Chrysocolla for We?
This is a wonderful crystal for both the heart and the sacral chakras and these are both very connected to relationship, where we are wired for connection.
It also works wonderfully on the throat chakra, inspiring clear and honest communication.
It artfully supports reprogramming old destructive emotional programs that are damaging for our relationships.
Crystals that often grow in and around Chrysocolla are Malachite (deep greens), Azurite (deep blue) and Cuprite (a metallic grey).
If you have Chrysocolla you may find on closer reflection that one or more of these crystal cousins is mixed in there too adding their own special alchemical magic to the mix.
Individuals in relationship.
If you want assistance with this type of work book a personal session, or check out my Udemy course Crystals made Simple.
Do you want a crystal healing session – Book here
Aromatherapy Made Simple
Check out my course on Udemy, Aromatherapy Made Simple
I want to talk into the Queen (for the feminine) and the King (for the masculine) of the oil queendom/kingdom.
I figure, whatever your gender at birth or whatever direction you choose if there is one oil to empower the divine feminine to be connected to her sensuality, softness, creativity and beauty it is Rose oil.
Rose is Queen for a reason and is well deserving of her title and her price.
However, Geranium is known as the poor man’s rose and is a wonderful (and more affordable) substitute.
As for the sacred masculine, Frankincense is king of the oil world and he is a little harder to find a substitute for.
Although still on the expensive side of oils he is a little more affordable than Rose.
I hate to perpetuate a stereotype of women being more spendy, but this queen likes to shop.
Remember that price in essential oils has to do with multiple factors including quality, which is important if using oils for health and healing.
But also yield, Rose oil requires a ton of rose petals to yield 1 liter of oil.
How often do you go in for a sniff of a beautiful store-bought rose and smell absolutely nothing?
Clearly, we need scented roses for essential oil.
It is very specialized and obviously harvesting rose petals is also seasonal.
Frankincense is a resin and extraction is challenging and specialized, as are the frankincense trees passed down in families for generations.
They can only be tapped and harvested sustainably.
As for a Frank substitute, I would recommend Pink Pepper or Cypress thought nothing is really a match for Frankincense or Rose.
But Frankincense will tap into the sacred masculine by sharpening our perspective, connecting us to our breath, to Spirit, while keeping our feet on the ground.
Working with both these oils can help us to balance these polarities within us, and a combination of the two would be great when going deeper into whole_some relationship.
Use any oils that are 100% pure essential oils, not fragrance oils.
I highly recommend doTERRA which is CPTG (Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade).
Do you want to use the magic of doTERRA essential oils to support your growth?
Remember to write your blends in your blend book so you remember what you liked and what you didn’t.
If you are keen to get hold of these magical oils, find me on this link https://www.mydoterra.com/cindyrainbowwisdom/#/
Contact me for any queries about what I have to offer.
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Much Love and Light
Cindy
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